Coming Back Into Your Arms...

      I guess it was in 2005 when you made your presence felt.  I've known you for quite some time but never give you any attention.  You're just there, waiting for me, bidding you're time.  So secured as if  you have that secret knowledge knowing that I would eventually notice you.  Ang lakas ng dating mo at ang daming nahumaling sayo.  Pero no keber pa rin ako.  I mean, why should I? Sino ka ba para pansinin ko??

      Pero, mapaglaro ang tadhana.  It was in 2008 when desperation hit, I just came out of a very unrewarding and very unfair relationship.  That's when I have come to notice you and you're over-powering presence.  Ayoko sana talaga, pero I have no choice.  Dumating ang panahon na kinailangan na kita.  At ikaw naman, you welcomed me with your arms wide open.  As if I really belong to you.  You didn't think na maarte ko even sa pagka-inglesera ko.  Didn't even care if I'm spending most nights with you, actually, you insisted na I spent most of my nights with you, even though you knew that I already have children, ok lang sayo.  Sometimes, you even demanded that I spent most holidays with you rather than with them.  I thought, ok lang naman, since our relationship is beneficial especially for me and my children.  The financial gain that I'm getting from you compensated the hours I spent with you.  You introduced me to different kinds of people and peeked my interest going to new places i've never been into and allowed me to be accustomed in a lifestyle that you had offered.   

       But still in 2010, after 2 years of our fruitful and bountiful relationship, I started getting restless and bored.  It's as if I feel so tied up with you and I don't see any future in our relationship.  There's no emotional growth and i'm kinda getting tired spending my nights with you.  Nakakahiya man aminin, nakakasawa na...  Ayoko ng ganito.  Sometimes I even dread the hour of seeing you.  And thought that It would be best to spend more time with my kids instead of with you.  I guess its time to move on....

      Though it pains you to let me go as you have nurtured and cared for me for the last 2 years.  You still supported my decision.  But as expected, you didn't let me go without a fight, offering me more than I asked for.   You even asked me, what would I do if you let me go?  And I just answered, I need time, I need to be with my children not only during those times that you allowed me to.... 

       And so there I was.  A free woman!  Waking up every morning, katabi ng mga anak ko.  Hindi man ikaw ang kasama ko, mas masaya ko na sila ang makikita ko pagmulat ng mga mata ko...  Actually, I also saw the change in my children's attitude.  They are as happy as a bee knowing that I'm always there for them.  Unlike before nun magkasama pa tayo.  Madalas wala ko sa gabi at di nila ko katabi pagtulog... I was even able to make a blogsite of my own!  Talk about having free time!

        Unfortunately....

        I can't seem to stay away from you.... After more than a year of being separated to you.  Its not really the relationship that I missed... but the benefits I get from you....  Somehow, nakakahiya man aminin... Kinailangan kitang balikan... ayoko man... pero ganon talaga... Kailangan eh... 

        Hay.... call center... sayo na naman ba ang mga gabi ko? kukunin mo na naman ba ang mga holidays na dapat eh pamilya ko ang kasama ko?  But then, again, ganun talaga... Ikaw lang (sa ngayon) ang willing magbigay sakin ng benepisyong kailangan ko.... 

 

(Ooooopsssss..... teka, long call na naman tong ahenteng to.... puro na lang ACW!)

The End

       

You might also want to read :

He's Back!

Ang Simula ng Wakas  The Prologue, Ang Pagkakakilala, The Journey, Towards Oblivion

Sulyap Tanaw

Like my page on facebook! Under the Moonlight

 

Read More

He's back!

                I was in a party when I saw Robert, an "old friend".  He is still, actually more good looking than before.  Before I got the chance of talking to him, I was wheeled to the dance floor by another friend.  We got into the music but I kept on glancing to where he is.  Lucky as I was, he was also looking at me, (checking me out I guess) and he didn't stop there.  He approached the guy I was dancing with and tapped his shoulder. "Pare, can I cut in?"  Albeit reluctant, my friend gave him a chance.  And so, we dance...

                "How are you?" he asked.
                "I'm doing good, ikaw?"
                "I;m ok, good thing pala na nagpunta ko dito."
                "Bakit naman?" I asked.
                "Kasi, ikaw pala makikita ko..."

                Naks naman!  Kilig moment for me.  Kasi naman, he occupied a special place in my heart.  He is my 1st boyfriend and we spent 2 years of togetherness and bliss before we said goodbye.  But we and our families remained friends even after the break-up.

                "Let's sit down muna, so we can catch up"  I suggested.
                "Ok, i'll just go get us some drinks"

                He left me at our table and as I was just talking to one of my friends, two hands covered my eyes from the back and said, "Guess who!"  OMG, I knew who that voice belongs to!  My heart started beating fast, I was speechless, stunned and can't believe my ears... He turned around, slowly took his hands away from my eyes, placed them on the side of my face and kissed me.  And it was as if i was plunged back in time, about a year and a half ago, how could I forget?  His is the kiss that I certainly can't forget, the same lips that I can't stop kissing.  Just looking at his eyes makes my heart flutter and his smile which never failed to make my day right. Bernard is back!

                Still stunned, I asked "Kelan ka pa dumating?"  
                "About a week ago, I asked your cousins where you are and they told me, you would be here, and I wouldn't pass the chance of seeing you again. I missed you."
                "I never thought, you would come back... I thought, wala na talaga... I was so heart-broken when you left without saying goodbye...If only I knew na paalis ka na nun, d ako tumuloy sa out of town trip ko at pumayag akong makipagkita sayo..."
                He silenced me with his kiss and my heart again melted.  He enveloped me in his arms and I felt secured and loved again....

                "Damn, I missed you so much, I should have never left, I have a lot of explaining to do" he said.
                "You have someone else?" dreading his answer.
                "No, even if i want to, I could never get myself fall in love with anyone else but you."

                Robert approached our table, with drinks in his hand, startled in seeing me and Bernard holding hands.  "Here's your drink," seeing the situation, I said, "Umm.. Robert, this is Bernard."  "Pare," extending his hand.  With a curt nod, Bernard acknowledged him, "Pare, can you excuse us for a moment? My pinag-uusapan lang kami?"  Being sport as he is, Robert just shrugged his shoulders, looked at me and said.  "I'll call you tomorrow."  and he walked away.

                 "Who's that guy?" a little bit irritated.
                 "Robert, an old friend of mine."
                 "Friend lang??"
                 "hahaha.. oo naman! Selos ka naman agad, we go a long way back" I just couldn't help smiling, he is back into my life!

                 Our eyes met,  "Let's get out of here, we have so much to talk about." he said.
                 "But... " I weighed the situation.  I really wanted to be with him but I just can't go and leave the party and my friends.
                 "No buts... we'll go somewhere else where we could talk." and with that, he gathered my pouch, took my hand, helped me up, and we headed to the door.

                 Just as we near the door, I saw Glenn walking towards us.  "Oh no.." A little bit drunk, taking my hand, "And where do you think you're going?!" he demanded. Bernard looked at me, "And who is this guy?!" taking back my hand. Bernard and Glenn sizing up each other.
                 Ignoring Bernard, Glenn asked me, "Why aren't you returning my calls and messages? Everytime I go to your house, you're always somewhere else, are you avoiding me?"    
               
                "Look Glenn, I was just busy with work, I'm sorry, I could have at least texted you but I just don't have the nerve to tell you that... "
                "That what? that you don't love me?"
                "Well, you said it, it's not that I don't like you, but I guess it would be better just to be friends... I ... I... I'm sorry..."
                "Bakit? Kasi bumalik na xa? Ikaw ba si Bernard?  I know all about you, how you left her just like that.  Damn it Faye, he left you for godsake!  I was there, or didn't you just noticed?"    
 
                "Pare, you heard her, leave her alone!"
                "Hindi ganon kadali un at wag mo kong tawaging pare, hindi tayo magkaibigan!"
                "Please Glenn, don't make a scene, people are starting to listen in to our conversation!  Look, I know you're pissed off and a little bit drunk, but please, let me go...i'm sorry"
                "Let's go." with that, Bernard almost dragged me towards the door and went out.

                We went to our favorite hang-out, a public but private place for lovers, ordered wine and talked.  I know, he was a little bit surprised if not pissed off with what had just happened.  And Im  not about to give him any explanation as there is no need for it.

                With a sigh, he said, "Faye, I'm so sorry for leaving you just like that, but to be honest, I just can't face saying goodbye, especially to you.  That time when I called you asking you to meet me was my sign if I will go or not, but you're out of town.  I took that as sign.  So I went abroad.  There's not a day that passed that I didn't think about you, you're always in my thoughts and dreams.  I just had to bear it coz that's my decision.  But ever since I came back, I didn't waste any time finding you.  You still have my heart.... and I can't let you go..."

               "If you only  knew Bernard, my world shattered when I found out you've gone abroad. For endless nights, I cried myself to sleep thinking what went wrong.  I refused to believe that you're out of my life... I.. I.."

               "Sshh... the important thing is I'm back and I will always be with you, nothing and no one can ever separate us from now on..."  and he silenced me with his sweet kiss, enveloping me in a very tight embrace.  Oh God, I so missed him... and I kissed him back with all passion.  Locked in each other's arms, we kissed passionately and then more urgently, both feeling the fire burning and building up desire... He started taking off his shirt, and then mine.. the feeling is so intense that all we wanted is to feel each other's body and lie down skin to skin.  He started moving and kissing downward my neck, feeling my urgent desire...

               "Faye, I missed you.. Faye... Faye...."

               Eyes closed, I could just hear him uttering and murmuring my name, over and over again.

               "Faye... Faye... Faye...!"

               His voice is now getting louder.... incessantly trying to catch my attention.., but i'm still lost in the sensuous feeling enveloping my being.

              "Faye!" and I felt him shaking my shoulders.

              I opened my eyes, startled, surprised, confused.... where did he go?  Where am I? What is Dianne doing here?

              "Kanina pa kita hinahanap, andito ka lang pala.  Nagmessage si boss, we have a meeting daw starting in 30 mins!"

              And everything was clear, as I focused on my surroundings, I was indeed in a room, but not with Bernard, I was in the sleeping lounge, inside the office premises.  And it was Dianne calling me, not him.

              "Damn, kala ko totoo lahat... panaginip lang pala..."        
               

The End

Read More