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Showing posts with label glimpse. Show all posts
Showing posts with label glimpse. Show all posts

Saturday, September 10, 2011

When My Strength Ends and Pretense Begins...



do not be deceived my friend
of the strength you say i have
I'm vulnerable too, because im only human
but i dont show it
i cry too, because i have to
but not through my eyes
but through my poetry... in my heart
i get hurt easily
but i lift my chin instead

im the touchy type
and i also want to be touched
(gently, soothingly, no groping, no forcing)
and i also want to touch
(subtly, tenderly, with meaning, full of feelings)

i dont easily show emotions
oftentimes deeply... you just dont see
it seems i know where im going
what im supposed to do
what i want
BUT ITS A PRETENSE
sometimes, im lost
i dont know what to do
or where to go

you say im strong,
i believe I AM
life has dealt me too many blows
for me to be gullible and naive
for me to be intensely emotional
ive tasted the god's idea of poision
shattered dreams, crumbled aircastles,
broken promises, fallen hopes
to survive all these
I HAD to be strong

but alas, my friend!
do not be deceived....
try to see
where my strength ends and pretense begins....

Friday, September 9, 2011

Print Your Memories


           With the title, you must be thinking, “how could someone be able to print a memory?” Lie down, hook yourself up with several cables and diodes, attached it to a computer and printing device, download from your brain, the computer program reads, interprets, records it and print it and lo and behold, a full color print of past events in your life comes out from the printer!  LOL, that’s something you might be able to watch in the late night gag shows but not in the real world.
               
            I surveyed my room and see a lot of scattered books, old shoes, boxes of old clothes, magazines here and there, looked under the bed and oh my goodness, what a pretty sight! Sneezing from the dust, I get up and decide it is definitely time to clean up.  Armed with a broom and a garbage bag, hair tied up in a bun, with Guns & Roses and Simple Mind as my company, I then started the tedious task of straightening up my room. 

            After a couple of hours, my room kinda looked like a “room” ideal for resting unlike the cave-like ambiance it had earlier.  I then get into the task of organizing the old things and boxes I have set aside in one corner for sorting as to which are to be thrown out and which are to be stored again.  To maintain the “pristine condition” of my room, I managed to file up things and set almost everything in order, garbage bag almost half full and the others are again neatly stored, properly boxed and named.  Nearing towards the end of my very tiring cleaning day, I come across an old shoe box.  From the accumulated dust, it must have been lying under my bed for ages.  I opened up the lid and surprised to find what’s inside.  Old pictures, negatives and rolls of undeveloped films!  Those were the days when memory card and digital camera haven’t existed yet.  Films were the “memory card” with only 12-36 shots per roll and the printing costs too much too! So fascinated with the old pictures I have dug up, I also went on to investigate the negatives and strain to see what events and memories it stored.  Moments were captured definitely but… sadly, it wasn’t printed then… I was so fascinated in browsing through the old pictures, I had the sudden urge to looked up to all my stored photo albums.  One photo album after another, a smile pasted on my face, I even started checking out old poem notebooks and collection of poems from the boxes and have a great trip down memory lane.  And I can’t help but think, if only I had printed those rolls of films, there should have been more moments/trips/parties that could be on a photo album worthy looking at. 

            Not wanting to commit the same mistake again, I get my laptop, inserted my memory card and started copying all pictures that I wanted to be printed (DROIDS-HARLEM get togethers, Sunday family lunches, Isabela trip, my days or should I say nights in WNS, and oh cutie cutie shots of Irvin and Myj!  I even browsed my cellphone for any picture worth printing.  Happy with my accomplishment, I took a shower, and decide to go to my favorite one-stop printing shop, DEPS Picture Maker in Shopwise Antipolo, and have these pictures printed ASAP.  I prefer DEPS and strongly recommend their service.  They have friendly staffs, very good print out quality and the best part is I can wait while my pictures are printed (their print-while-you-wait policy).   Their cost is also “swak to my budget”, with a wallet size picture, I could have 4 pictures printed for only php10.00! I simply must print all of those captured moments!
             
             Excited with my new goal, I started to look for my brush, my lipstick (I must have carelessly thrown it in one of those damn boxes), and where did I put my wallet? Hmmm… looking everywhere, I finally located everything I need after searching through the things I have stored.   I grabbed my purse and before I went out, I have surveyed my room again, photo albums and pictures on the floor, my dusty shirt, poem collections and old poem notebook on the bed, my room is a mess again!  Darn… I should have at least taken a picture of my room earlier while it was a little bit in order.   Oh well, I’ll just have to clean it (again) later.  Printing MY moments and memories is more important now J

Topsy Turvy


Have you ever had that kind of wanting, longing and yet conflicting feelings?  About two years ago, i have this kind of feeling so intense and so torn between getting back together or just leave it as it was.  Should I welcome you back? Or should I just turn my back?



In this obscure world of ours
I wallowed on my solitude
Living like an empty shell
gradually disappearing...
Slowly dying....
No room for bliss, for laughter
Has it been so long since i felt
Shouting for joy?

Then you came into my life... again..
Once again, you've penetrated my ever lonely world
Was it only yesterday
That we have parted ways?
And now you're back, professing your love
your devotion..

In you, I have found my zest for living
Such happiness that brought tears to my eyes
A feeling I never thought i am capable of
Overwhelming love, even I couldnt understand...

Shall I take you again into my life?
Will I still let myself be fooled of your love?
Have I not learned?
Nothing has changed...
It would still come to an end..

Strike me with lightning!
Dont ever let me live!
For what is the sense of my being?
Of my existence?
Without you in my arms??

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Glimpse


I was in Makati City one busy afternoon.  I had 3 meetings scheduled from 1 pm up to 9 in the evening.  To take a breather, I decided to have a cup of coffee in Starbucks with an "old friend" of mine.  That was the first time i saw him after more than 15 years and it really is a very exhilarating, refreshing and yet a saddening feeling.  I cant help but reminisce the old times which led me to this...

bigla bigla kang naisip at biglang naalala
pinagsamahan sa nakaraan biglang sumagi sa isipan
laking gulat sa iyong ipinagbago
mula noong panahon pa na naging tayo

minsan masarap na lang balikan 
ang saya ng nakaraan
ang mga kulitan at mga tampuhan
simpleng buhay at ang mga nagdaan

simpleng card, simpleng memento
nagbibigay ngiti at nagpapataba ng puso
nakatago pa ang mga ito, nawala man ang ilan
hindi ito nawaglit at laging my space sa aking puso kahit kailan....


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