i am simple, i am complicated
i am poor, yet enriched with family and friends
a newbie in blogging but not in life
i just wanted to share a piece of my mind...
We were schoolmates since elementary days but our paths never crossed and we never knew of each others existence then. We started to notice each other in high school. I can still vividly remember, yours in one of the classes I have handled during the Teacher's Week where I was one of the Student Teachers and took over one of your subjects. You're quite cute, kinda lanky, a little bit shy but still the kind of guy who says what he wanted to say. I think you're going out with a classmate of yours then, and I, well, though I have my own share of suitors, is not exactly thinking of going out seriously with anyone then.
Years passed, and our paths crossed again in our junior year, I was a cheerleader and your a varsity player. You've grown to be one of the cutest guys in school. Girls seem can't get enough of you and they're doing even the craziest things just to be noticed by you. But I guess, your attention was already focused on someone else then (me), just like my other suitors, you're also vying for my attention. Giving me love notes, walking me home, going out with for snack after school.
But I guess, you're not lucky.... I chose the other guy instead. One afternoon, just right after class, you approached me and told me you're gonna walk me home. I can't seem to answer coz I already agreed to someone else to walk me home. As we are nearing the gate, the other guy came and get my bag and books and just said, "Let's go?" And all I can tell you is, "I'm sorry". You're such a sport. You just walked away from us but your drooping shoulders didnt come unnoticed...
I thought that was the end of your courtship. Unfortunately, my relationship with the other guy didnt seem to work out. And you were always there during those times that he should be there. We were more together than me and my boyfriend were. And little by little, I was drawn to you, your sweetness and thoughtfulness got me thinking that you are actually a better person than my boyfriend.
And so, my boyfriend and I broke up... And you were there. I did not ever consider our relationship to be on a rebound coz you have proven yourself to me and that you are worthy of my love. You are so kind, so sweet, so thoughtful and so true. Even if you dont like the things, sports, events that I am into, you are always there to support me to the point of learning it as well so you could come with me and join me in any of those things, events. Our relationship prospered and we enjoyed almost 2 years before things started to go sour...
We were in college, different universities, different people, different lives. It was then I have realized that I want to explore and broaden my horizon and it seems like you are confining me into our own little world. I have started to fall away from you, without you realizing it, coz you love me more than before. It was then that I thought our relationship is so routinary that it got to the point that I got bored. And so, without further ado, I said goodbye to you... You cant seem to understand why and asked me if you did something wrong or if there is someone else. But no, how can I explain, there's no one else... its not you... its me... there's nothing wrong with you... And I thought it would be better this way than to hurt you more in the long run... So we broke up... It took sometime for the wound to heal, but you know what, I was quite surprised and happy that we still manage to keep the friendship we had..
Who would ever thought that after more than a decade we would see each other again? Oh my... You, looking good more than ever. and since we have kept our friendship, we were able to at least go out with some common friends. Reminiscing the old days, the good times we had. We laughed, joked around and kept each other up to date as to what has happened in all those years in our lives. The whole night that we were all together, I kept on stealing glances in your direction, silently observing you, wishfully thinking its still me and you.... asking myself why did I ever let you go... It was that night that I realized, that even after all those years, my love for you was just like a dormant volcano... its still there, just waiting and bidding its time...
ang lahat ng tanong ay may kasagutan, lahat ng problema, may kalutasan, lahat ng nawawala ay mahahanap...
pero pano kung ang bulag ay hindi makakita, ang bingi ay di makarinig, ang piping di makausal?
maswerte ka pang walang kapansahan, may laya kang makita ang ganda ng kalikasan, marinig ang huni ng mga ibon, mausal sa sintang iniirog ang nadaramang pagmamahal
bakit hindi mo ito gamiting sa tamang paraan? hindi sa panghuhusga, panlalait o paninira lamang ang iyong tainga hindi sa tsismisan na walang katapusan ang iyong matang walang ng nakitang maganda? ang maigsi mong dila hindi sa kadalahiraan..
mas bigyan mo ng pansin ang ganda ng paligid pakinggan ang alon ng dagat o lagaslas ng tubig gamitin sa pagpupuri ang matamis mong dila ipakita, iparamdam ang iyong pagkadakila.
Ang pagkakalinlanlan ay hindi dahil sa yaman sa gara ng iyong kasuotan sa ningning ng alahas sa katawan o sa modelo ng iyong sasakyan
payak man ang iyong gayak kung kalooban nama'y busilak di hamak ikaw ay aangat ng higit pa sa mga taong palasak.
i miss your calls, your messages
your sweet nothings, your tender caress
i miss the way you treat me, like a princess
when im with you i feel like such a lady
you made me feel im so beautiful
you're damn so proud when im with you
you never let go of my hand
as if you dont want to let go...
but then you have to leave,,,
to a far away land, you have to be,,
we knew for a fact that you have to
but its sooner than expected..
do you really have to go?
This is my entry to the Isang Minutong Smile Quotes Contest
first timer po kaya inyong pagpaumanhinan
bago man ako sa ganitong larangan
Nais ko lang magbahagi ng konting karunungan..
"Sulyap tanaw lang ang kaya kong gawin
Di makalapit ang gaya kong mahiyain
Ngunit di alintana, malayo man ang iyong tingin,
Isang ngiti mo lang, sapat na upang kita'y mahalin..."
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Salamat sa mabubuting sponsors ng pakontes SMILE Quotes Contest :: Field of Dreams, Alohagems on Squidoo, ISP101 at from the dungeOn.
Have you ever had that kind of feeling of longing not really for someone to be with but actually longing for the feeling? I dont know, I cant seem to find what im looking for... Unknowingly, I might have found it and just let it slip away...
hindi ko makita ang aking hinahanap,
di marinig ang nais pakinggan,
di mahaplos ang nais mahawakan,
di matanaw ang nais masulyapan...
para akong isang ligaw na kaluluwa sa isang gubat na napakadilim at napakalawak daang hindi makikita kita upang ang liwanag ay muli masilayan
why.. I've done my part, did my best
and yet to no avail, it has come to an end...
all the trust and confidence had gone
just like a puff of smoke..
like a disappearing ghost..
nothing is left of me...
even my dignity...
why...
should I suffer more?
indifferences do I still have to endure?
when would I have the courage?
was I stripped of everything I have?
my confidence, dignity and pride?
have they left me with nothing?
even just a little to save my soul and being...
These are actual comments (sagutan) on FB when i posted my short poem "Sulyap Tanaw" which turned out to be a poem too. Tnx Rommel DLR for your contribution. Modern Day BAlagtasan!
M:
panaginip na lng ba???ohh dyos ko!!!
paano na ang puso kung sugatan???
hanggang kailan ako maghihintay,sa kawalan...
F:
hanggat sa iba nakabaling ang iyong pagtingin,,,
hanggat ang aking pgdurusa ay di mo pansin..
pusong sawi at aking hinagpis
kailanma'y di mo mararamdaman
pagkat ikay blinded sa aking mga hapdi..
M:
ikaw ba`y may sakit,mahal ko
at akoy d mo makita`t,mapansin
para kang isang bulag sa karamlam!!!
manhid ka ba at akoy di mo man lang maramdaman....
ipagagamot kita ,upang akoy iyong makita`t madama....
F:
ang gamot sa aking hinagpis
ay pansin ng taong ninanais...
ngunit kung ang pagibig mo ay wagas
at maramdaman ng aking pusong iwas
malamang ay mabaling din ang tingin
at ang iyong pagsinta ay mapansin...
M:
pansin o sulyap sa pag ibig mong inihahain
ang gamot sa pusong mong naghihinagpis!!!...
kung yan ang makakapagpagaling sa puso
mong sugatan at naghihinagpis.....
dalangin ko sana sa ating Poongmaykapal,
tugunan ang sinisigaw ng puso mong naghihinagpis...
F:
pagibig mong hain ay napakadalisay
dangan pati ang iyong puso at ikaliligaya ay handang ibigay
datapwat masaktan, mapaligaya lang ng tunay
ang sintang iniirog kahit magkahiwalay...
M:
pag ibig na inihain sa iyong damdamin....
naghihintay ng iyong katugunan!!!
sana`y bigyang halaga at pansinin,
upang pusong luhaan ay mapaligaya
kahit sumandali lamang....
F:
ang pagibig na inihain at iniaalay
ay malapit ng tugunan
basta ang pagkadalisay ay mapatunayan
pusong dating iwas ay malapit nang bumigay
at tugunan ang pagibig na iniaalay...
M:
Ang pag-big nga bay sa una Lang ang ligaya?
Sana namay Hindi dahil sa mga pangarap ko'y ikaw ay laging kasama.
Wag sanang paluhain dahil sayo'y nag mamahal.
Saglit pansin mo lang ay ligaya ko nang tunay.
F:
Kahit iba ang iyung pansin ikaw parin ang akn gusto.
Huwag ka sanang mabulag sa kanyang pang gugulo!
M:
ang pag ibig ko`y di mabubulagan!!!
ibaling ko man sa iba ang aking pansin...
luminga-linga man ako sa iba...
sa bandang huli`y pusong dating iwas,
ay mamimirmihan sa kanyang iniibig.....
F:
diyata't tama ang iyong mga tinuran
dangat minsan akoy sadyang nabubulagan
bakit nga ba mghahanap pa ng iba at panay ang sulyap
sa taong abot tanaw lang
bat di ibaling ang pansin sa taong laging nasa aking harapan...
It was holy week and I was in the middle of making a business presentation when HIS image flashed in my mind and I suddenly had the urge to stop what I am doing and pray. I have been so restless lately and nothing seems to make me happy... now I know why... I have been looking for happiness in all the wrong places and totally forgot the source of true happiness... Setting aside my presentation, i came up with this simple prayer...
Kua Ed is one of the few people in college that ive been very close to. One of the real friends ive ever had in college who never took advantage of anyone or anything, a loving, kind-hearted and compassionate person who always have a good word for everybody. One of the pillars of KAKASA in PUP, a very strong leader, with a mind the likes of Miriam. Last time I saw him was during my birthday about 9 yrs ago and that was the last time i ever saw him... About 4 yrs ago, he kept on popping in and out of my mind and a friend of mine (irene) shared the same sentiments. WE thought of finding him but it never become a reality... Until i heard a very shocking news from a mutual friend that Kua Ed has passed away two years ago.... Kua Ed, this is for you..
for a dear comrade
para sa iyo, kaibigan, kabalikat, kasangga,
kasama sa pakikibaka,
isa ka sa mga taong humubog ng aking pagkatao
at nakakilala sa kin ng husto, sa potensyal na meron ako
tumulong, nagpapatatag at nagmulat ng pusot isipan ko
na meron akong responsibilidad hindi lang sa sarili, pamilya
higit lalo sa bansang sinilangan ko.
sa pagmumulat na hindi ako basta isang babae,
na hindi natatapos sa pagiging ina at pagiging asawa ang role ko sa mundo
ngunit isang tao na may halaga at may magagawa para sa kapwa
at bayan ko
i wish i was there when u needed a friend through the most painful days of ur life,
i wish i cud have hold ur hand just like before when u felt so alone and everybody is against u
i wish i didnt stop short of thinking of finding u again and see for myself how you are
i wish... i wish...
but now u're gone,
for almost 2 yrs, and nobody from our common friends knew...
i cant help but cry coz it pains me that i wud never ever see u again
wont receive anymore letters from you
i am feeling such a loss that comes from within...
you were one of the few real friends i've ever had in this crazy world we live in
one of the few who saw me for the real me and loved me for who i am,
one of the few real people ive ever considered in that chaotic organization of ours,
who never took advantage of anyone, of anything.
nevertheless,
i know ur happier now with our creator,
you wud never again feel the physical pain you have bravely battled for so long,
wont be humiliated anymore by those people who makes fun of you
or those who ridiculed you for what youve become...
